4 Tips to Move from Grief to Peace Amidst Life's Struggles
Jan 23, 2019Dear Christian Women Warriors of Light,
I want to take a moment to share parts of my journal entry from a challenging period in my life, about a decade ago, which I called my "day from hell." At that time, I had two sons on the autism spectrum, and they were incredibly difficult. I share this with you to remind you that, on your hardest days, you are not alone.
Tamara's Journal, July 20, 2005
I wrote: "I had Jacob in for his physical today. Our doctor confirmed that he has autistic tendencies. And I felt like crying. I know he does. But I really don't want to do this again. I don't want to lose another sweet boy to autism. It's too hard and too painful."
I had been in denial about Jacob's condition, thinking he was just imitating his brother. In my journal, I expressed the pain and frustration of facing the reality of having two children with autism.
My entry continued to describe the challenges I faced daily. Nathan's behaviors, like smearing poop on himself, were not easy to deal with, especially when I was already emotionally drained from the constant demands of caring for children with autism. I felt anger, exhaustion, and a sense of isolation.
I believe we've all had moments like these, where the world seems to be caving in on us, and we feel utterly alone. But remember, you are not alone. God understands, and you are not the only one going through tough times.
Now, I'd like to share four tips I've learned from my journey that can help you survive and thrive in difficult times.
1. Be Gentle with Grief: It's essential to recognize that when life changes and your expectations are unfulfilled, it's natural to grieve. I wished someone had told me that I would go through a grieving process for the child I had imagined. It's okay to grieve these changes, be kind to yourself, and allow yourself to heal.
2. Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, and, most importantly, God. Shared suffering can bind us together and strengthen us. There's immense power in leaning on others who have walked a similar path.
3. Plan for Stress Relief: Taking care of someone 24/7 can be overwhelming. Plan for stress relief by finding activities that rejuvenate you. Whether it's exercise, reading, laughter, or meditation, make time for yourself. It's essential to replenish your own well-being.
4. Embrace Becoming: Over time, you'll find peace. You might need to adjust your dreams, but don't give up on them. Understand that your challenges are an opportunity for growth. As Harriet Tubman said, "Always remember you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars and change the world." In your darkest moments, you might feel buried, but perhaps you've been planted, ready to bloom and grow.
Remember, peace is attainable when you turn to God and allow Him to guide you through life's challenges. While we may enter our trials kicking and screaming, we can emerge from them stronger and with a heart that's been molded by His grace.
My subsequent journal entries reveal how my perspective shifted over time, and I found peace amidst the chaos. I've learned that the Lord can change our hearts, making us more resilient and compassionate. Though we may be a bit rough around the edges, with God's help, we will grow.
So, my dear warriors, when you face life's battles, know that you are never alone. You have the strength, patience, and passion to face the stars and change the world. Keep growing towards the light, and peace will be your reward.
In His grace and love,
Tamara K. Anderson
