Breaking the Chains of Perfectionism in Our Children
Mar 30, 2023
Dear Friend,
In today's world, the pressure for kids to be perfect is immense. From school to extracurricular activities, the demand for excellence can lead to perfectionism. Perfectionism in children and teens has increased by 33 percent in the last three decades.
But what is perfectionism, and why should we be concerned? Perfectionism is a demanding pursuit of flawless performance beyond what's necessary. It can lead to anxiety, depression, and even eating disorders. It's a heavy burden that shields us from being truly seen.
I've witnessed many children and teens debilitated by perfectionism, tying their worth to the relentless pursuit of excellence. They're under constant stress to project a flawless image, often fueled by the illusion of a perfect life on social media.
My own daughter, now 15, often faces this pressure to excel. She feels the weight of high expectations and often struggles with her self-worth tied to her grades. It's a challenge we discuss regularly, focusing on being a high achiever while recognizing that her value isn't solely determined by her academic performance.
The good news is that there's hope for perfectionist kids and teens. Here's what you can do about it as a Woman Warrior of Light:
- Recognize your own perfectionist tendencies.
- Educate your child about perfectionism and have open conversations.
- Help your child focus on what they can control—attitude, effort, and actions.
- Celebrate the growth that comes from mistakes.
- Model acceptance and flexibility.
- Seek professional help if needed.
And remember, the Bible tells us in Psalm 139:14 (KJV), "I will praise thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." This verse reminds us that we are beautifully and uniquely created by God, just as we are.
Together as women warriors, we can guide teens towards self-improvement, self-compassion, and the understanding that their worth isn't defined by perfection. Let us set this stalwart example that we are only perfect in Christ--and that is how it is meant to be. Let's point those we love to the Savior for He can help them move toward His perfection as we are yoked to Him.
Much Love,
Wendi Christensen, LCSW
