Coping with Holiday Grief: Healing, Memories, and Support
Dec 20, 2022
Dear Beloved Warrior of Light,
In the midst of holiday cheer, are you battling the shadows of grief and loss? Know that you are not alone. Grieving during the holidays can be a heart-wrenching journey, especially when we've experienced a loss that leaves a void in our lives.
Grief, my dear friend, is like the relentless ocean. It surges in waves, sometimes calm, and at times, overwhelmingly turbulent. It's important to learn to navigate these waves, to find our way through the ebb and flow of sorrow.
Vicki Harrison wisely likened grief to the ocean, and I couldn't agree more. It can be all-consuming, threatening to drown us, but it also offers moments of respite when we feel we can breathe again.
Just as the ocean's tides rise and fall, grief follows its natural course. The holiday season, however, often amplifies our emotions because we expect ourselves to be joyful and celebratory. These expectations can be at odds with the reality of our sadness, loss, and grief.
This holiday season, I want to offer you eight steps to help you navigate these turbulent waters and find moments of peace and joy:
Step One: There is no time limit on grief. Whether it's been six months or six years, it's okay to grieve. Grief knows no boundaries, especially when it comes to missing our loved ones during the holidays. The ebb and flow of grief is natural and everlasting, so permit yourself to feel without judgment.
Step Two: Embrace your emotions. It's okay to experience joy during the holidays. You can laugh, smile, and find moments of happiness. Don't suppress your joy; let it coexist with your grief. Allow yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions and resist numbing the pain with distractions.
Step Three: Honor traditions and memories. If holiday traditions bring back cherished memories of your loved one, continue to honor those traditions. They can help fill the void and serve as a beautiful tribute to those we've lost.
Step Four: Embrace new traditions. Don't fear creating new traditions. You're not forgetting your loved one; you're embracing the past while moving forward. Your loved ones would want you to find happiness and joy in life. Creating new traditions is a wonderful way to increase joy for yourself and your family.
Step Five: Plan ahead. If your loved one played a significant role during the holidays, plan for someone else to take on that role. Let your family know how you're adapting the holiday rituals. This can make transitions smoother.
Step Six: Self-care is crucial. While grieving, it's easy to neglect your own well-being. Ensure you stay hydrated, get enough sleep, engage in physical activity, and nourish your body. Caring for yourself is essential during this time.
Step Seven: Serve others. Serving others can provide a sense of purpose and a welcome distraction from your grief. Look for opportunities to help those around you or get involved in community service.
Step Eight: Reach out for help. Don't hesitate to seek support if you need it. Grief is a heavy burden to bear alone. You're never alone in your struggle. Reach out to friends, family, or professional counselors. There are helplines like 988 available to provide assistance during emotional or mental crises.
Grief during the holidays is a real and challenging experience. However, you have the strength to overcome it and find moments of joy amidst your grief. These steps offer guidance, but remember, your journey is unique.
As you navigate the holiday season with these steps in mind, I hope you find moments of peace and joy. Grief will ebb and flow, but remember, you are not alone on this journey.
With love and blessings,
Wendi Christensen, LCSW
