How Can Authenticity Transform Your Prayer Life?

Bible, Women & Bathrobes, Episode 25

Sermon on the Mount, Part 13

Summary

Tamara, Amy & Jen discussed Matthew 6:5-8 about the significance of authenticity in prayer, sharing personal experiences with prayer and the atonement. They emphasized the importance of forming a personal relationship with God through quiet moments of prayer and meditation, rather than following a checklist of religious routines. They also highlighted the relational aspect of prayer, emphasizing that it's not a transaction but a conversation with God, and that it's okay to express emotions like anger and sorrow to Him. The speakers emphasized the need for authenticity and vulnerability in prayer to build a genuine relationship with God.

Main Takeaways

• From Jen  “He tells us come, ask. The most common thing we are told throughout all of scripture, and it's in every piece of scripture is ask. Ask me, ask me. I'm going to tell you, ask me. So that's my takeaway is pray and ask.”
• From Amy “When you're surrounded by other people, and you feel like you cannot get alone time to pray. Why not take them with you? And I think back to when I had my little children, how different would it have been if I had grabbed my oldest, who never stopped talking, and said to him, ‘Hey, can you just come kneel silently here for just a minute with mom, I really need to talk to Heavenly Father. I want to be with you too, but can you just kneel with me silently for just a minute?’ How different would my life have been and his life had I brought him with me, to the Lord?”
• From Tamara, I'm just thankful to know that we have this gift of prayer, that we can reach out to God at all times, wherever we are, whenever we are. If we feel like, maybe we don't deserve an answer, it doesn't matter. God is there. He's there to hear. He's there to help. He's there to answer.”

Today’s Podcast Hosts & Guests

Tamara K. Anderson

Tamara, founder of Women Warriors of Light, is a dynamic speaker, award winning author, and a podcaster. She is driven by her Christian faith to inspire faith in Jesus Christ. Alongside her husband, Justin, she navigates the joys and challenges of parenting four children with autism, ADHD, and mental health hurdles. You can find out more about Tamara on her website: https://www.tamarakanderson.com/

Amy Johnson

Amy is a member of our Women Warriors of Light Advisory Board. She is a leader of women, a homemaker, and a licensed cosmetologist. Amy enjoys nurturing women through betrayal trauma to becoming a beacon of support and inspiration.

Jen Brewer

Jen Brewer is a member of our Women Warriors of Light advisory board. She is a nourisher of bodies and souls. She does this through speaking, writing, and global malnutrition work. She is the mother of 7 children, author of 6 books, and lover of traveling to discover yummy food and Jesus Christ (not necessarily in that order).

Tamara Anderson  0:00  

Why does Jesus commanded us to pray in secret? And also not to use vain repetitions? What does what does that mean nowadays? We're gonna dive into this part of the Sermon on the Mount today, so stay tuned. 

Tamara Anderson  0:18  

Welcome to Bible Women and Bathrooms, the podcast where faith meets comfort. Join us Tuesday and Thursday morning. As the gals from Women Warriors of Light and their guests, don bathrobes and dive into the inspiring stories of women in the Bible, and the teachings of Jesus Christ. From Esther's bravery to the Sermon on the Mount. We explore it all with warmth, laughter, sisterhood, and maybe even a few sleepy-eyed moments. tune in live or at your leisure as we learn lessons from scripture which empower women today. 

Tamara Anderson  0:59  

Welcome to Bible Women and Bathrobes. I'm your host Tamara K. Anderson, and joining me today, Amy Johnson. Amy, thanks for being here.

Amy Johnson  1:06  

Thanks. Good morning.

Tamara Anderson  1:08  

And we also have Jen Brewer Jen, thanks for being here.

Jen Brewer  1:13  

Thanks so much for having me. It's been great. 

Tamara Anderson  1:16  

Alright, guys, we're gonna dive into we are in Matthew chapter six. And we're on verse five today, and we're probably gonna get through about five through eight. But here Jesus is talking about how we should pray. And he's kind of given us some basic instructions that as we read it, we might go, Well, that's them in those days. So we're going to kind of dive in and see what what does that mean for us. So verse five, he says, "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are, for they love to pray, standing in the synagogues, and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, they have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest enter into thy closet, and when thou has shut thy door, pray to thy Father, which is in secret, and thy Father, which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly." And I thought I'd just open that up. What are you thinking as far as what this says? And how it applies to us today? Amy, let's kick it off with you.

Amy Johnson  2:30  

When I was young, I never saw this. It didn't make any sense. To me. It was like, we pray in all our church meetings out loud, like, I pray in my family, like, when I was young, it never made sense to me. But then, as you get older, you kind of see things happen. And I, I, particularly just kind of a funny story. There's a comedian, my kids, and I joke about her her skit all the time. Angela Johnson, she talks about praying in church with friends, and she's like, come over here, pray with us. We're praying for such and such because she's pregnant. And the lady's like, No, it's okay. And she's like, okay, and then she does a fake prayer. She's like, please bless, she's probably pregnant, too. Right? And we laugh about that, right? Because it's very, but it's very real, it the things that you could say, in a prayer appear appealing to appearing to be humble. That is really a dig, or a slight toward another person is, is really very, very, very real. 

Amy Johnson  3:41  

And, and I think the Lord, in my experience does not really appreciate being mocked at all. He doesn't like that. And he doesn't appreciate anything that is the appearance of good, but lacking the actual substance of good. And so when I think of this, I truly think are we appearing to be humble? Or are we really humble? Where where are we on this? And I think that's what what he's talking about here. For me. When I read that, that's what I see is, is what what's your point? And again, it goes back to are you doing it to be seen a men? Are you doing it because you really want to have a conversation with me? And I actually, I, I've actually been having kind of a sweet experience that's kind of been ongoing for the last couple of months, but where sometimes we in the Christian culture, I think we think well, I gotta read my scriptures. I gotta pray. I gotta serve somebody. I got it. And we go through this kind of checklist of, if I do all of these things, I'm going to be like God or I can be what he needs me to be or whatever I'm supposed to be. But lately, I've really been realizing that it's not about the routines we do. It's about the relationship we're forming. And so this time I spend with God isn't routine. It's relational. And and that means that if I'm sitting quietly in this room, this is actually one of my favorite rooms. I don't have many rooms in my home like I used to, because I live downtown Salt Lake now but, but if I sit here in this room, and I just sit against the wall, and I just think about Him and be with Him. That's relational. I don't have to be breakneck speed through all the things that are going to make me a good Christian.

Tamara Anderson  5:56  

I love that so much, Jen.

Jen Brewer  5:59  

Oof, Amy, that was amazing. I'm still like pondering the relational, that is powerful. Thought about the hypocrites. And again, if you go to the old movies that we've seen portraying these people out on the streets, and just showing how good their prayers were, how fancy their language was, how much they talked, for me. I might get struck by lightning. I remember, like growing up learning the formal ways to pray, you know, the four steps to prayer, blah, blah, and that, like so harped on the thee thy thou? Like when you pray, you are approaching the throne of God? Yes, yes, we are. And I get it. And it was very, very cold. And formulaic to me. All growing up. And I remember the first prayer. The actually I received a note on the like, in the moment answer, which shocked the bejesus out of me, first of all, and then to turn it suddenly to that relation. And suddenly, ever since then, I have completely wiped away the thee thy thou and step one, step two, step three, the prayers can be all over the board. They can be a talk a cry. I've had plenty of shaking my fists at God, I've had plenty of what the heck and more colorful verbiage than that, like? Just, Amy, I think you hit it on the head. When you said it's the relational. It's not a transaction. It's a relationship. I'm not to circle back to what we talked about last week and service of the bank account of am I saying these prayers just to put the bank account in to put it up? Or am I truly building a relationship? Where it's in the moment conversation? And getting in the moment conversation from God changes the whole aspect of prayer for me?

Tamara Anderson  8:25  

Yeah, you know, you guys are making me think of this past week, we had a Woman Warrior workshop by one of our other board members, Carrie, and we're done. And she talked about her steps for just getting ready to pray. She made like this prayer planner. And, and I've had it for like, two months, maybe I haven't used it. But after she gave that lesson, I was like, you know, I should probably kind of at least look into this because I do want to improve my prayers. And, and one of the things she had this, you know, things like what are some things you're thankful for? And you know, I pause and I kind of fill in the blanks. And then the next question is, is there something you need forgiveness for? Like, that's an uncomfortable topic right. Now, and anyway, so it's, I've kind of been using it for the last three days. And I was like, you know, this is making me really think because there are times, I'll be honest, my morning prayers are usually much better than my evening prayers, because I kneel down at night and I'm just like, Okay, I'm so tired. I can't even think straight, you know what I mean? But I am praying in the middle of the day too, because sometimes something will pop into my head. I'm like, Oh, yeah. And bless so and so you know what I mean? And so it's, it's interesting, the more I put into pondering about what I want to pray about and what I need to pray about, sometimes just even a couple of prompts. It's really made me feel like I'm talking to Him better and there's a part to pause and you know, what is God answering? Is he giving you any ideas for the questions you're having? Like, how often do I stop to listen after I've, you know, talked till I'm blue in the face, like, here's all the things that are going on Lord. Now I don't know how to solve them a you know. And so it's it's been an interesting exercise for me to kind of like, take time. And I just set aside time, like you said, Amy to build that relationship. 

Tamara Anderson  10:30  

It's not just a checklist thing. It's not just a routine it is I'm building this relationship with God because I need more help in my personal life, I need more help being a better mom being a better wife being a better business owner or a podcaster, or whatever. You know, I wear a lot of hats. And I think we all do. And so I'm thankful that that he gives us these ideas about but I do need my quiet time. I feel like I need quiet time. But there are times when I have prayed when all hell's broken loose. Sorry. That's just honest truth, right? So I am thankful for this time. And I think that's what God really wants. He wants us to be authentic. And sometimes there are steps we fallow. Sometimes you're just sobbing your heart out to God, because this this, and this has happened. And I just can't even think or process and now I'm angry. You know, I've had plenty of angry prayers, just like Jen. But I think I think the more I think what's most important is that we keep that relationship going. Because it's when we stop talking to him that, that he can't help us, you know, if we're not willing to come to Him, whether it's with joy, whether it's with anger, whether it's with sorrow, he can help us navigate any and all of that, right. 

Tamara Anderson  12:02  

Let's move on to those next few verses. We have verse seven says, but when you pray, use not vain repetitions as the heathen do, for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. Be not ye therefore likened to them, where your Father knoweth what things you have need of before you ask him. That's an interesting phrase right there. So first of all, let's tackle vain repetitions. Because that's tricky sometimes, because I know I want to pray for certain people, like every prayer I have. And, and then we can go on to the what God knows what we need before we ask. So you thought sir, Jen, let's start with you.

Jen Brewer  12:52  

You have hit? Woof. Yeah, this is massive, massive topic in my life. Over the past four years, I've completely up ended, how I communicate, and therefore how I have my relationship with God. And vain repetition. I mean, we've got the we've got the whole standby in the culture of, you've got the standard food prayer, you've got the words that everybody knows, and everybody says, you know, that type of vain repetition of just blessing, nourishing strength, blah, blah, blah. You know, you've got that type of vain repetition. I realized in my life, my vain repetition had been, I realized I was using God as a cheerleader. Because all my prayers were help. Help me do this. Help us do that. Help my child with this, help us with that. Help us with that? Help us with this? Okay, thank you. It was all just helped me, helped me with all of my issues and all of my plans that I'm doing, and completely went into this whole different world of prayer. Caution, not for the faint hearted, of, of having conversations of going from helped me do this to well, first of all, I had to back up and fully realize am I in a mode where I can hear him in the moment, and I had no idea that was even remotely fathomable, other than a few I had a few key prayers in my life, where you feel the warmth or you feel the burning or you random things and I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, prayer, great. 

Jen Brewer  14:41  

But can I ask a specific question and get a real time answer? Like that I never thought was possible for I know it's possible for other people with higher pay grades in the church, but not me. Not like mom from Minnesota. And when I realized Is that was possible it changed everything for me everything. And I had to start from 101. What what is a Yes? How does God talk to me? How do I How do I know it's a yes? How do I know what to know its a no? So I had to go through that process of how are you talking to me? What? When you tell me yes. What does that mean? Or how do I feel that on my body? Or how do I acknowledge that? When I hear you tell me o? What is that? How do I hear instruction from you? Like I had to go down to like, break it out, piece by piece? And then go into the whole? Is it me answering? Or is it God answering the age old question, and learn to method we we all carry, what I call scripts. we all we all see things through a paradigm through beliefs, we have parental lessons we've received, we all are going to see and receive things through this scope. Everybody prophets included. So yeah, we are getting a film of an answer. But we can go in and say, Okay, do I do this thing? Do I go to the store today? To just to throw something out there? Yes. And then kind of walk around it? And say, Are there any scripts with this? In other words, Am I doing something that's answering this prayer? Am I projecting anything? Am I just getting a yes out of fear? Or because it's what I'm supposed to do? Blah, blah, blah. And then clear the scripts. And for me, I visualized sitting in the temple, and just throwing scripts onto the altar, and letting Christ just poof them away. It's, it's all about the atonement, when you, you know, clearing scripts is just let the atonement wash them away. And then come back and say, okay, is this the real answer? Is this good instruction? And it has changed forever? Oh, I have conversations, how I pray, how I get answers, and how I follow things.

Tamara Anderson  17:17  

Love this. I think we're all on our journey. And I love how you said that. You take it to God and you. And you you have you have him teach you. How do I hear yes how do I hear no? I like that going back to one on one because we each hear him differently. And I think that's that we each have to take and prepare. So yeah, that's beautiful. Amy, any thoughts on the vain repetitions? Or what we were talking about as far as God knowing our needs or developing prayer? 

Amy Johnson  17:59  

Yeah,I actually have a couple of thoughts. We are so funny as humans, I'm kind of a word person. And so when I look at the phrase, vain repetitions, I actually see two separate words there. But I don't think many of us do. We think repetitions, vain repetitions were that's repeating ourselves. But I really think we skipped over that word vain. That word vain is so vital. And again, where's your heart? That's what I just think of every time where's your heart? Are you just rattling off a prayer that you just like, This is what I learned when I was five years old. How to bless the food? Or are you? Really are you really truly repeating a prayer? That is the longing of your heart? Again, going back to Hannah? Hannah was praying for the same thing over and over and over again. But I don't think one time she prayed for that she was doing it vainly. I think she wanted a child. And I think she was all in her heart was all the way there. And I have prayed the same prayer many times for a child, for my husband, for myself. That is a repetitive prayer, but is not vain. I am all in God and I are having a absolute conversation. That was my first thought. 

Amy Johnson  19:35  

My second thought was when you talk about he knows what you need. The other day we were praying my husband and I and we have some pretty deep things we're trying to sort out right now. And he said, we use it and I said sure heard and I I did I opened it and Heavenly Father and then I was silent. And I, to be honest, are kind of on the verge of tears, like the things that we're talking about. They're heavy, they feel deep, right? And, and I was silent for a while. And then I just said in Jesus Christ, amen and my husband looked at, and he was like, well, what was that? And I was like, sometimes I can't get the words out. But it doesn't matter. Because he does know what I need. Before I say them, he does, and it's okay. And if we circle back to that whole relational instead of routine, am I praying? You know, when you first meet someone, and you get in a relationship with your spouse, and you decide, I really liked the way I feel around this person, so I'm going to marry him. But then if you're going to stay married, 30-50 years, you better do something different, then I like the way you make me feel, because I promise there's going to come a day where you don't like the way he makes you feel, right. And so you have to do something different. And, and I think if if you really want your relationships to grow and blossom, it has to be more about the selfish. This is how you make me feel, and I want to keep you around and it becomes more about what can I do for you? 

Amy Johnson  21:23  

How can I get to know truly who you are? And my mom was always a big person about a big advocate for you will become like the people you hang around. So you better pick wisely, who your friends are. And I've seen that I've watched that. Now raising my own children, I've watched me and my husband, we, we pick up habits from each other, right. And that's why you look in the mirror one day, and you see your mother and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm my mom, because you spent the first 18 years with your mom or 20 years or however long. And so this relational thing with Heavenly Father, I really just believe that it is truly about forming a relationship with him. And I had a really interesting experience thinking about Jesus yesterday in church. And I think about him and I repent and I do all these things that I'm really pretty focused during part of the services. But I had this really interesting experience where I just found myself asking, tell me about yourself. Tell me about you. And I got an answer. And I won't share it here. But I learned about who God is and who Jesus is to me. Because I asked because I thought to ask, just like on a first date, so tell me about yourself. And I felt like I was like on my first date, Jesus. So tell me about yourself. And then he told me stuff. And then that moment I learned so much about me. And so I think that's, let's, let's not care about repetition. Let's talk about vain. Are you doing it just because you have your vanity? Or because of that you're mocking almost or are you are you really trying to have a relationship here? What's your point? That's what I think.

Tamara Anderson  23:23  

I love that. When I was reading that verse, kind of like, kinda like I loved what you said about opening the prayer, and then just your heart just gushed out to God. And then you closed it. And there's this verse that came to mind and it's in Romans, chapter eight, verse 26. And tell me if this doesn't like exemplify what Jesus says here about how God knows what we need. It says, says, "likewise, the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities, for we know not what we should pray for as we ought. But the spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings, which cannot be uttered." And I'm like that right there. There are days when, like you, I'm just like, I don't even know how to say, there are not words to convey the emotions and the thoughts and everything going on in my brain. And I love this right here, that when we have the spirit, it can make it can be that intermediary between us and God and can convey here's what I'm thinking, here's what I'm feeling. Here's here are my needs. I can't even verbalize them. But the spirit can make that intercession with this like it says with groanings that cannot be uttered. And I just thought that is so appropriate for those moments of prayer when, when there are no words?

Amy Johnson  25:05  

Can I tell you if you've ever sat with someone who has lost a loved one? I have sat with many women who are mourning and grieving. And I remember, I've had many times where they've come to where someone has come back to me and said, Why would someone say that to me in this moment. And the reason I think is because if we are, we are, we need to focus on this relational again, my sweetest moments have been sitting and holding a woman where neither of us says a word of Christ. And I truly believe those are the sweet moments for our Father in Heaven to where I actually just allow him to be with me, and neither of us have to talk. I'm just with him. And he's just with me. And he holds me while I cry, so to speak. And I think we, we, we live in this world that's so busy and so active. And so there's so much going on that we don't always allow ourselves to just be with him, and have that kind of relationship, where it's okay, just sit there and let me sit next to you. That's how I know I have a real friend, is if I can sit next to someone or we don't have to say a word. And we can sit there for a long time. And just that's, that's, that's real for me. I had those moments with my mom, last November in Italy, and it was just the two of us, and we would just stand next to each other and just watch the sky. And be breathe and just be and see the goodness of God and feel His love and feel everything that he does for us. And, and, and those moments. And I just I think that is we allow those moments to happen in our lives. Then we become more like God because we're with him. And we see how he interacts with us better.

Tamara Anderson  27:20  

Love it, love it. One thought I had while you were describing that was there are different times and seasons of life. I think back to me being a young mom, and there were not very many quiet moments to just be with God. At least none that that I felt like I was always chasing one kid or another or you know, there were very few quiet times when I wasn't just sheer exhaustion. So take heart if you're in the mucky middle, take heart that God knows where you are, and and you can send out those groanings through the Spirit. Dear Lord, help me to survive this day. Because you know what I'm doing, you know what I'm going through. Maybe you're juggling work, and kids and a whole bunch of craziness going on in between God can see you and hear you and know you. There are times I'm dumping in the car, you know, you know, we spend so much time in our cars, transporting kids and going to work and all that stuff. And sometimes those places can be holy places too. So it doesn't have to be a closet, like it says here. You can have a moment, even a moment in between tantrums you have of your two year old you know, so take heart with that. All right, let's wrap it up. Final Thoughts slash takeaway, Jen?

Jen Brewer  28:54  

So many thoughts. I just I love the tenderness that Christ shows that there are times that like in Romans, that's the scripture that came to my mind too. There are times when I can just say I don't I don't even know. I don't even know what to say. I just I need a hug. And I can feel him sit with me. But there are times when I'm just in prayer just sometimes I'm like you saw what just happened. So I'm not going to reiterate I just No. I got nothing. I got nothing. How would that be to have Christ pray for me. And yet, he does all the time. And he will all the time. He will be there with him. The vein repetition, sorry this is a little bit longer than a little wrap up. That I hit always want to hear don't give vain repetition and don't do that, I kind of go to the parable that Christ shares. And it's the only parable that he tells the meaning of the parable. Not only tells the meaning but tells it before he even gives the parable. And in Luke chapter 18, he says, And he spake a parable into them to this end, that men ought always to pray and not faint. And then he gives a parable of the unjust judge, and the woman who's just constantly going, going, going, going, and, and then he says, I mean, at first, I'm like, Wow, do I really? Am I supposed to look at God as an unjust judge? Like, what is this parable telling me? But he's really saying, No, pray, pray a lot. Give a Hannah prayer. Like you can say the same thing over and over, and over and over again. Because God, he says, I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. And shall God avenge His own elect which cry day and night unto him Him, though He hear, though he bear along with them, I tell him, I say unto you, He will avenge them speedily. He tells us come, ask, the the most common thing we are told throughout all of scripture, and it's in every piece of scripture is ask. Ask me, ask me. I'm going to tell you ask me. So that's my take home is pray. and ask.

Tamara Anderson  31:39  

Love it. Love it. Love it. Amy.

Amy Johnson  31:41  

I think my takeaway from all of this is this question that just keeps running through my head is when you're surrounded by other people, and you feel like you cannot get alone time to pray? Why not take them with you? And I think back to when I had my little children, and what different what, how different would it have been? If I had grabbed my oldest who never stopped talking? And said to him, Hey, can you just come kneel silently here for just a minute with mom, I really need to talk to Heavenly Father. I want to be with you too. But can you just kneel with me silently for just a minute? How different would my life had been had been in his life? Had I brought him with me, to the Lord. And, and I have watched that in my home. Recently, my husband and I both where tension starts to get high. And we're thinking about all these things that the world has to offer that we now need to figure out. And one of us will say, take, we'll reach out a hand and we'll say come, let's pray. Just come and we'll kneel together. And I think I think that's, that's my takeaway is that life is busy. Life is crazy. But life is relational. So take take, take time to have a relationship with the Lord. And if somebody gets in your way, just bring them along with you.

Tamara Anderson  33:18  

That's fun. That's really awesome. My thoughts, as we're wrapping this up, have been all about that verse eight, that God knows what we need. And the Spirit making those groanings for us, because I've had many of those types of prayers in my life. And I'm just thankful to know that we have this gift of prayer, that we can reach out to God at all times, wherever we are, whenever we are. If we feel like, maybe we don't deserve an answer, it doesn't matter. God is there. He's there to hear. He's there to help. He's there to answer. No time is a bad time to reach out to prayer. He can handle every emotion. I remember. I've interviewed a lot of people on my previous podcast and one of the ladies said, God is big enough to handle every emotion you can throw at him, you know, the anger. That's fine. It's not gonna break him, you know, he's not gonna be mad at you because you're angry at him. And so, give it all to God and, and he can help us through all the ups and downs of life. So I really am thankful for prayer. It's gotten me through all sorts of lovely and not so lovely times. So anyway, thanks for joining us today, guys. Next week, we start on the Lord's Prayer and we'll break that up as well because that's an amazing prayer to dissect and, and help us as well. So thanks for joining us today and may you feel God's love for you as you pray today. 

Tamara Anderson  35:11  

Thanks for tuning into Bible Women and Bathrobes hosted by Women Warriors of Light. We've loved exploring the stories of remarkable women are the teachings of the Savior today with you. If today's episode brought someone special to mind, be sure to spread the word. And don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss a moment of inspiration and sisterhood. Just a friendly reminder, all opinions we share are entirely personal as we are trying to decipher and apply Bible teachings just like you are. Until next time, stay faithful. And may your journey be blessed and illuminated by God's love.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai