How Can We Give Selflessly and Authentically?

 Bible, Women & Bathrobes, Episode 23

Sermon on the Mount, Part 12

Summary

Tamara, Jen, and Amy discussed Matthew 6:1-4 from the Sermon on the Mount about the importance of giving without expecting recognition or reward, emphasizing the need for authenticity and selflessness in serving others. They also shared insights on maintaining healthy relationships through active listening and obedience to God's instructions, while managing projects effectively by stepping back and letting others take ownership. They emphasized the importance of prioritizing collaboration and recognizing when to speak and remain silent.

Main Takeaways

• From Tamara, “God has invited us to love Him and then love our neighbors and serve them. And so really just doing it for that reason, and letting the rest of it play out, because ultimately this is all about us learning to become more Christ-like and to do that, we've got to lay our pride on the altar and just keep serving.” 
• From Amy,  “Just remember, nothing happens without me. And so all I'm doing is giving you something and asking you to give it to someone else. And then I'm still gonna reward you.”
• From Jen, “ Our time on Earth is so short. What are we doing with this time that's given? And at the end of the day it's have we helped? Have we helped make our little area of the orchard better? It's all He cares about. He'll reward us in the end, He'll reward us.”

Podcast Hosts & Guests

Tamara K. Anderson

Tamara, founder of Women Warriors of Light, is a dynamic speaker, award winning author, and a podcaster. She is driven by her Christian faith to inspire faith in Jesus Christ. Alongside her husband, Justin, she navigates the joys and challenges of parenting four children with autism, ADHD, and mental health hurdles. You can find out more about Tamara on her website: https://www.tamarakanderson.com/

Amy Johnson

Amy is a member of our Women Warriors of Light Advisory Board. She is a leader of women, a homemaker, and a licensed cosmetologist. Amy enjoys nurturing women through betrayal trauma to becoming a beacon of support and inspiration.

Jen Brewer

Jen Brewer is a member of our Women Warriors of Light advisory board. She is a nourisher of bodies and souls. She does this through speaking, writing, and global malnutrition work. She is the mother of 7 children, author of 6 books, and lover of traveling to discover yummy food and Jesus Christ (not necessarily in that order).

Transcript

Tamara Anderson  0:01  

What did Jesus mean when he said don't do your alms before men? And how does that apply to us? Today we're going to talk about that portion of the Savior's teachings in Matthew chapter six. So stay tuned.

Tamara Anderson  0:20  

 Welcome to Bible Women and Bathrobes the podcast where faith meets comfort. Join us Tuesday and Thursday morning. As the gals from Women Warriors of Light and their guests, don bathrobes and dive into the inspiring stories of women in the Bible, and the teachings of Jesus Christ. From Esther's bravery to the Sermon on the Mount. We explore it all with warmth, laughter, sisterhood, and maybe even a few sleepy-eyed moments. tune in live or at your leisure as we learn lessons from scripture which empower women today. 

Tamara Anderson  1:01  

Welcome to another episode of Bible Women and Bathrobes. I'm your host Tamra K. Anderson. And joining me today is Jen Brewer. Jen, thanks for being here today.

Jen Brewer  1:10  

It's great to be here.

Tamara Anderson  1:12  

Thanks. And Amy Johnson. Amy, thanks for coming back and being with us. We are so excited we finally finished Matthew Chapter Five last week, it took us several weeks to get through several months to get through that amazing section of the Sermon on the Mount. And today we pick it up again, in Matthew chapter six. And we're going to go through the first four verses or so today. And so I thought I would read the first couple of verses, and then we can talk about it. Because these are some of these phrases or words that they use, we just we don't use as much today. So he says "Take heed that you do not your alms before men, to be seen of them otherwise ye have no reward of your Father, which is in heaven. Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you they have their reward." And so let's just talk about first the don'ts. And then we'll talk about the do's which are verses three and four. So first of all, thoughts on alms? And what does that mean nowadays? Amy, let's kick it off with you. Any thoughts?

Amy Johnson  2:38  

Well, when I think of alms, I always I often think of just doing good. Whatever that looks like. I look at it as sacrificing or helping, charity, loving. So when I think of alms, I think of it that way. And I I see this sometimes where people and maybe probably even me at some points in my life where I've done things because of how it appears or how it looks or what others would think if I didn't do it, or I mean, that's probably my bigger thing, right? Like, I don't want to not do it like that would be bad. But I have I've seen and heard people talk about the things they do that are good. Because they have a short time to do it. And they want to leave a legacy of some sort. I'm not I'm not really that kind of person. But I am the kind of person who's like, well, I have to because what will my family think if I'm not there to help or what will I you know what I mean? So when I think of alms, that's what I think of and so when he says, to be seen of them, I think that's exactly what he's talking about. Are you are you showing up? Because what will other people think if you don't show up? Or if you don't, if you do, are you showing up because of the accolades you'll get for showing up? Or are you showing up because you looked vertically? And he said, I need you to show up for this and you said, I'll work in whatever corner of the vineyard you want me to work in. That's what I think.

Tamara Anderson  4:21  

That's cool. It's a good perspective. Jen. Any thoughts?

Jen Brewer  4:27  

Ditto on that? Amy? I love it. I yeah, I feel like when you say alms, the modern translation to me is, is service. Anything you do that that helps anybody else? And it's it's easy to look at this and think of it where it says you know, do not sound a trumpet before thee as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, it's easy to put this into past tense and think of Pharisees and Sadducees and all the pomp and circumstance that went around that. And it's easy to say, oh, yeah, how dare they have a blah? Oh, hello, social media.

Unknown Speaker  5:15  

I know, that's what I was thinking.

Jen Brewer  5:20  

Right? Do I do something? Because I'm like, Oh, this will make a good humblebrag post that, oh, I happened to be in the neighborhood. And look at this cute thing I did. Oh, just Whoa, I've been there. Done that, like, it's we are like our trumpet is, is that we can click a button, we can take a picture and slap it everywhere. To show everybody how good we were great or small?

Tamara Anderson  5:51  

One of the one of the translations I was looking at. Talked about. Kind of it being a, that alms could also be interpreted as acts of religious devotion. You know, and I kind of sat and I pondered that, I'm like, that that could take us to a whole other level, you know, it's not just see in my mind, I'm picturing people giving you know, those giant checks, hey, $10,000, you know, that they do. And I'm not saying that's wrong. But that's what I pictured in my brain when I thought of it in our days, you know. But then when you want to, you can get down to religious devotion, it becomes a little more piercing in my heart, I guess. Because then it becomes more personal, and how am I am I doing? Am I being authentic? And his big warning here is to not be a hypocrite. You know, and I think we struggle with hypocrisy, just like the people back then, you know, what is the purpose behind it?

Tamara Anderson  7:04  

 Because I know that there's lots of cool shows out there about going in like revamping somebody's house, and I love when they go, and they do that for somebody, I think that is so cool. And so I think it really kind of hinges on what is your intent? You know, your intent to do good and be good? Is it to draw attention to yourself is, and that's where he kind of starts to specify, are you doing it for the rewards of men? Are you doing it for the rewards of God? And we kind of get into that in the following verses. So it really kind of hinges on what are the intents of your heart? What is your intent behind this? 

Tamara Anderson  7:47  

And here's where I'd love to also throw this out there for discussion. Because I know like, when I was a teenager, my parents drugged me to some things like, Hey, we're gonna go do this service for, you know, we're gonna go like our church had a, I can't even remember what it was. But it was like a farm. And so we would sign up as congregations and we would go help at the church farm, you know, during the summertime, and I remember, you know, wanting to sleep in on Saturday, because I'd been in school all week and had early early morning classes. And I was just like, you want me to get up and go serve at this farm. And let's just be honest, Tamara's intentions, were not very nice or very kind or very happy. But I did learn that when I served, I always left with a better attitude. Do you know what I mean? And so sometimes I think that we may not always start out with the right intention and our service or kindness or perhaps our religious devotion, but maybe God through that changes our hearts because even though maybe we didn't start with the right intent. We did it anyway. And he blesses us for trying, you know what I mean? Any thoughts on that? Jen?

Jen Brewer  9:08  

I just as you're talking, I thought, Okay, I'm gonna tease out a little bit. The intent, because I think it's, I think there's a difference. Believe me, I've been all over the board. I've done service for all the wrong reasons. Okay. Just there you go. Hypocrite number one right here sitting. But I'm really honing in on this. In fact, I have a sign in my bathroom that says, Make it a habit to do something kind every day that will never that nobody will ever notice. You intentionally do something that never will be noticed. And it's it's kind of changed a lot of how I do things. Just because I even even with my family, just kind of let it slip that. Oh, did you notice that I filled up your car with gas, you know, aren't you aren't you so lucky to have me and your life, just just those little things that slipped, but then just started doing it just to do it and not care about if it got noticed it all changed everything. And as you're talking about, first of all, you brought like forward trauma response to me from from getting hearing the announcement of it's time to go hoe the beats and as a kid thinking, Oh, I'm looking up the row and hoping my parents were asleep and they miss you never missed the announcement and always slipped on the lighted Oh, dark 100. And I was not I was not happy camper getting out of bed. The old I daresay the only reason I went was because we would get to go get big cinnamon rolls after that was finally. 

Tamara Anderson  10:52  

You wanted that earthly reward, hey, the reward.

Jen Brewer  10:57  

And I got I got zero points for any beat hoeing ever, because I ate it all up in my cinnamon rolls. But, but I feel like there's a difference in the intense like your intent. And my intent as a little kid was just purely, I just want to sleep. Like, don't make me go do this versus I'm going to do this. And I'm going to take a picture and I'm going to tell everybody and look how great I am and how wonderful I am and how many clicks and likes. And I think there's a whole different intent. I think God can guy can do anything, he can turn your heart anytime. But going into it I feel like there's there's a difference between just play not wanting to do it. And truly hypocritically doing it, if that makes sense.

Tamara Anderson  11:44  

Yeah. And that's why I open it up for discussion, because I don't think I have the full right answer. I'm just like, wow, what do you guys think, Amy.

Amy Johnson  11:52  

My mom always talks about that. Life is not a bank account. You can't serve, serve, serve, serve, serve. So that one day you can take a withdrawal. That's not how life works. And I think for me, that's been really impactful for me. And so there's a lot of things I I'll go about in my home. And I will do and never gets acknowledged. And I actually am finding myself lately saying I don't feel very appreciated. Because I've been I've been living under this premise that life's not a bank account for years, and I believe it, I really, truly believe it. And I believe that when you do just for the sake of doing good, you are happier. But if you do just for the sake of being able to withdraw later, it's really frustrating when they don't let you make the withdrawal you want to make really frustrating. But I find it interesting that in these verses, he talks about that you have no reward of Father which is in heaven, or that they have their reward. It's almost like he's saying, you can't have both you can please me? Or you can please man. And that's what I see. You can please me? Or you can please man, you can't have both. And it leads me back to the scripture that talks about serving masters, right? You can't serve two masters, you can serve me or you can serve them. 

Tamara Anderson  13:24  

It's actually later in this chapter, ironically, yeah. You're already picking up on the theme here Amy that's aweome.

Amy Johnson  13:31  

That's actually funny because I was like, where is that? And I thought, well, I'll just say it because I know it's in the Bible. I know. It's I don't know where. Anyway. So sorry for the spoiler. 

Tamara Anderson  13:42  

No. It's good, it ties in.

Amy Johnson  13:45  

 I find that really fascinating that he's saying you you can't have both and, and when I go about things, because if we're being honest, like like Jen, we've we've all done it for all the wrong reasons. And hopefully some of us have done it for all the right reasons too. Right? I mean, but if we really look at it, what's what's my point? Do I love the Lord? Do I love his people? Because I love the Lord, do I want to serve Him? Because that's if that's my goal, then what happens inside of me is that changing of my heart, which I think is the greatest miracle is if God can come in and change my heart at the same time as he doesn't take away my agency, which I truly believe he does not. That to me is a miracle. And so I love this who who do I love God? Or do I love the likes? Like Jen was talking about what's most important to me?

Tamara Anderson  14:48  

Yeah, I think I think we're boiling it down to kind of what makes it more applicable to us. And in fact, that leads just into these next two verses, and I may as well read them Verse three says, "But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth, that thine alms may be in secret. And thy Father which see it in secret himself shall reward thee openly."

Jen Brewer  15:17  

Okay, can I just jump in and jump in? Do I, you know, I get on my high horse have no don't let anybody know don't and then the end of the verse, I'm like, Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Like verse four. All I need is for God to see it. Because if he sees it, then he'll reward me openly. Like, we can't win, we can't like, we are still selfish beings. And they know that. I almost like the end, he like dangles his carrot is like, don't do it to be seen a man. Just do it. Just be cool. Don't let your right hand know what your left hand does. Boom. But hey, if you do, I'll reward you. And I'll do it out and open.

Amy Johnson  16:00  

It's no different than the cinnamon roll. Are we being honest? It's no different than the cinnamon roll. I, I really, truly believe He's our father, right? So he's saying, Look, honey, you feel just don't work in this corner of the vineyard. I will buy you a cinnamon roll after. It's no differently. Well, he just knows me so well, that he knows exactly what I'm willing to work.

Tamara Anderson  16:26  

Yep. Yeah. And I love that. He says he'll reward us openly. But he doesn't say how do you know what I mean? And it's probably with those things that we stand in need of. Right. And I've often found that sometimes those opportunities to serve present themselves at the most awful moments. Like you're like, How can I even make this fit? And yet, when I take the time, you know, I pray about it. Heavenly father helped me to know if I can fit this, you know, the service opportunities dropped in my life. How do I fit it in because I want to go and help and serve. And and then the Lord because of your service, gives you something that you're like, how do I fix this? I don't know how to fix it. And God's like, you help me. I'm going to help you with that, you know, and so it's not always I've heard it, compared to like the cosmic vending machine. It doesn't always work like this, I do this, I get this. But you do this. And God will bless you in some other way that maybe you weren't expecting, but it's usually something you need more than something you really want. Any thoughts on that? 

Amy Johnson  17:44  

Can we boil this down to like familiar relationships, because I just that just keeps running through my mind. Like, especially in marriages, it seems like sometimes we get pretty competitive with our spouse. Where where that bank account especially, really seems to be high. And I mean, what would it look like if you truly thought I am only ever going to serve him based on what the Lord would have me do. And maybe that service comes in saying what he needs to hear. And maybe sometimes it's biting your tongue. So you don't say what he doesn't need to hear. Even if you think you need to say it. And, and sometimes, honestly, my alms are literally biting my tongue, and reaching heavenward, so that I don't say the wrong thing. In fact, I just had this happen the other day, I was quite, I was quite unsettled about something. And I had been praying in the morning and he was in school. Here local like it on Zoom. And I came downstairs and as soon as I saw him, the unsettled I just like, ah, gosh, I have so many things I could say right now that are just bugging me. And instead, I just bit my tongue. And then I just said, I love you. And the tears were flowing. And he said, what's going on? What's wrong? And I said, I love you. And I think I said, I love you like six times. And finally he said, Okay, I love you too. And I said, Okay, I gotta go to my dad's bye. And I left. But as a result of being with not being willing to not say what he didn't need to hear. I was able to fix it with God. Make it all right. And then now, we didn't end up in this long drawn out and comfortable week of nonsense. We actually had a really good week, and we never even had to talk about it because God fixed it for me. I'm fine. So I think sometimes our alms literally are holding back, and being a peacemaker, and being non-contentious in our relationships.

Tamara Anderson  20:13  

oh I like that. 

Jen Brewer  20:14  

Amy that makes me think about if we zoom out the whole purpose of everything we do on earth, and all the scriptures and everything that we're ever given, is for one purpose, and that is to get our relationship with God. Like, everything, everything everything is get your beeline to God, get you're looking, listen, hear me, listen to me, my instruction. And that just like reminds me what you said is, the alms could be that just am I listening to God? Is he telling me this person needs help this person needs that you need to zip your lip, you know, or on the converse, maybe you need to say this, and it's going to be very painful. And there's going to be a lot of drawback that you can't hold your tongue anymore. Like either side of the equation. I think it's our way listening to God. And I love how you said God fixed it, almost like, oh, he rewarded me openly because we didn't have a fighting week, we had a pleasant week. And it Yeah, just that made me think of that, Oh, am I listening to God, to when to speak, when to be silent when to just slowly exit the room. Just I don't know, service can be in the negative space as well. It can be a Vashti of who is the queen that preceded Esther of my services, I just need to exit the premises. And, and leave and make space for Esther to come in. So it just ALMS are so many different things.

Tamara Anderson  21:56  

And maybe it's good that we're sitting here defining it because it can look differently for each of us. Right in our daily lives. And I think kind of what I've gleaned from what you guys have been saying is it really depends on where our focus is. Is it up? Or is it around? You know, and, and keeping that in order. And I think that's that's also at the end of this chapter is putting God first but let you know, that is why the first and great commandment is the first and great commandment to love God. That is the first one. And everything else falls to the wayside beside that. So I think if we're focusing on that first and great connection with God, then He blesses us with everything else. And that's probably what this boils down to, don't you think?

Jen Brewer  22:48  

Can I share a story that just keeps coming to my head? And it's really embarrassing, so I don't know why I'm sharing it.

Amy Johnson  22:56  

Because you love us so much.

Jen Brewer  23:00  

Um, so I my thing in life is humanitarian work, specifically global malnutrition, like, that's my thing. I'm here to nourish souls and spirits. And so I do a lot of another story that I will push off and save to another day on my major, ooh, major beef with humanitarian work, because that speaks to this. Am I going to help? So I can take a picture posted on Instagram? Or am I really going to help anyway, enough said on that, I will keep that where it should be. But a number of years ago, I was involved in a project where it was I was grabbing these people from major organizations, like big time in the nutrition world, like anybody outside the nutrition world would have no idea. But they were big time players. And I'm grabbing people. And we're getting this project together. And we're like, trying to play nice in the sandbox with spoiler alerts, NGOs do not play nice in the sandbox, but we're getting people together and formulating this massive project. Two years, like two years of my life was spent doing this and orchestrating this project and bringing key players and then oh, we've got to fund it. So a whole other year spent like getting grants and getting shout out to Rotary. Love you but your grant process is horrific. Just there you go. But did get a global grant from Rotary. So yeah, I love you. I mean, you're nice. You're it just was a pain. But okay, massive. Have I said enough about how much how much I worked and how much I put into this. So we have this, it's this program. It's going it's it's a two year research project. So it's in the middle of it. And I go to this convention, National Nutrition convention, 10,000 dietitians, so I see one of the sessions out and I'm like, that looks awfully familiar. And I look at the people who are speaking and it's the people in my project that I have and picked up brought together for this and introduce them to each other and yada, yada. So I go to the session and they get up there explaining my project. They're like teaching my project. And it took me. I'm not gonna lie, it took me a good two or three minutes of sitting there like, hello, hello people, you know her because of me, you guys, you guys were fighting. And I was like, hello, I'm here. And jealousy ran amok, my pride ran amok. And Mike, this is my project, like, what the heck. And then all of a sudden, I got like the godly bump on the head, and the hole. It's no longer your project. Like, look how beautiful this is. You no longer have to sweat and grab people together and play Peacemaker and try to get every bit it's, they have taken ownership of this and isn't this beautiful? It is now theirs, they will run with it. And it no longer depends on you. Because I need you over here now. Like, let that go. Because that's no longer yours. You did what you needed to do step out of it. 

Jen Brewer  26:15  

You know, fast forward. I'm working with an NGO, and we were trying to get things going in, in a different country. So we'd gone to this other country and had massive miracles happen, like things just lined up. And again, this is another like, multi year that we're doing. And I'm so excited. Look at this. It's all going it's finally going to happen. I'm laying in bed, I was the president of this organization. I'm laying in bed like marveling, we're talking eight years of this one of a stretch. I'm like, This is amazing. Isn't this awesome? Boom, got injured, done. And I was so mad. I was so bitter because now it was finally the fun phase. Now I could finally be in the spotlight and be out there. And it was your skill set is no longer needed. Take it to your vice president, you step out, it's now time for her to step in. And it took me three days on that one I was I was not having it. I was like, Coach don't bench me. Like we're finally here, like, and I finally brought it up with her. And she looked at me and said, I've been feeling the same way. hardest thing I ever did was just turn that in and walk away. And both of those experiences have taught me this whole like God shall reward the openly that didn't seem very openly because he was like shoving me back into the sidelines. But he was teaching me again, are you connected to me? Because now I need you here. You have this great skill set, but it's not. XYZ. It's JKL. Like I need you in this part. So now I need you somewhere else. Oof. It's hard when the fun times happen to step back. But if I can let go of my pride enough, it is so beautiful. It's so beautiful to have that internal satisfaction of when I finally separated when I was sitting at the convention and I could finally sit back and think this is amazing. You guys are doing it and assures like my vision, I was successfully able to transfer enough that it's now your vision. And how beautiful is that? Thinking away into the shadows. Yeah, it's crazy. But it's beautiful when you get that internal notch of I did it. And Gods like you did it. Now walk away

Tamara Anderson  28:55  

I really love that example that you shared that was perfect way to wrap this episode up because it makes it really true to life. And and I love that you had to kind of pause and have God help you check your pride at the door. You know? Yeah, I think my biggest takeaway from what we've discussed here is keeping our focus on doing it, because God has invited us to love him and then love our neighbors and serve them. And so really just doing it for that reason, and letting the rest of it play out how will you know, because ultimately this is this is all about us learning to become more Christ like and to do that, you know, we've got to lay our pride on the altar and just keep serving. Wherever he puts us. Yeah, Amy takeaways.

Amy Johnson  30:04  

I just was, as Jen was telling that story, which was awesome. I kept thinking about Hannah, and how we talked about her how she finally did the work. She covenanted with the Lord, she made a vow, she got this little boy, and then she had to back away. And how many times in our life really, should we be backing away? Because none of this even happens without God. I really realized that about six years ago, when I couldn't breathe all of a sudden, it was so sudden and so bad that I thought I had a tumor in my lungs. Like, it was so drastic, I never had a problem. I mean, technically, I guess, when I was a child, I didn't breathe well, which is another story that we won't go into. But I didn't. And I don't have really strong lungs unless I do the work for them, like swimming or running or whatever. But I couldn't get a deep breath. And I thought, well, I just must have a tumor. And when I went to the doctor, they were like, This is anxiety is like, I've never even experienced what I knew was anxiety. And I just kept, I did took years for my breathing to get back to where it needed to be. And in those years, like probably six years of learning, to breathe, everybody had all these ideas of how should breathe. But what finally got my breath back was stopped trying to breathe. You don't breathe without me. Stop trying to breathe. You don't breathe without me. And I think that's what it all comes down to. We don't give alms. Without him. We don't even have alms to give without him. And so for us to take the credit is really super lame. For us to say, Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can make it happen for us to burn ourselves out. Doing something he doesn't want us doing is really super lame. And so you don't breathe without me, I think is my takeaway. Just remember, nothing happens without me. And so all I'm doing is giving you something and asking you to give it to someone else. And then I'm still gonna reward you. So that has helped me that's my takeaway.

Tamara Anderson  32:29  

Jen, takeaway.

Jen Brewer  32:32  

That I'm just mesmerized by Amy. I like Amen to that. It gets I love I love how you mentioned the alms. We don't even have alms without God. It all comes down to it's His, what are we doing? We just have the stewardship. Our time on Earth is so short. Like what are we doing with this with this time? That's given? And at the end of the day? It's have we helped have we helped make our little area of the orchard better. It's all He cares about. He'll reward us in the end, he'll reward us.

Tamara Anderson  33:20  

Yeah. Oh, that's perfect. Well, another great episode here guys. Thank you for joining us today. Thanks for diving into what alms is and what it looks like and how ultimately everything we do in our and breathe and have comes from God. And so as we give to others, we're just giving what He's given us so you're right. We have nothing to be blowing our trumpets about it's it's all it's all God. Some point point the finger to Him and everything will work out. Thanks, ladies. 

Tamara Anderson  33:57  

Thanks for tuning in to Bible Women and Bathrobes hosted by Women Warriors of Light. We've loved exploring the stories of remarkable women or the teachings of the Savior today with you. If today's episode brought someone special to mind, be sure to spread the word. And don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss a moment of inspiration and sisterhood. Just a friendly reminder, all opinions we share are entirely personal as we are trying to decipher and apply Bible teachings just like you are. Until next time, stay faithful. And may Your journey be blessed and illuminated by God's love.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai