Kindness of Strangers: A Mother's Story
autism kindness mothering mishaps mothering stress Feb 20, 2015Dear Sisters in Christ,
Today, I want to share a moment with you that reminded me of the kindness of strangers and the challenges we face as parents. Last fall, we decided to take our kids out to celebrate their good grades. We chose a local restaurant, but as a mom, I always try to be prepared for any situation, especially when we go out with Nathan, who has autism.
So, I packed some entertainment options for him – his favorite game on the Game Boy and an iPod. We sat down, and things seemed fine. That's when Jordan, our 15-year-old, called me, and I answered. Nathan saw me talking on the phone and started to get upset, whining and asking for the iPod. I offered it to him, but he refused. I even tried the Game Boy, but he declined that too.
Sometimes, I feel the need to stand my ground, especially with Nathan. I didn't want to give in because I had brought other items for him to enjoy. But Nathan had other plans. He started throwing a big fit, yelling "No" at everything I offered. After just a couple of minutes, my husband had to take him out to the car because the situation had escalated. We ended up getting our meal to go. My stress level was through the roof at that point, but I was determined not to back down.
You might be wondering if I should have just given him my phone and avoided the whole ordeal. But what message would that have sent to Nathan? It would have taught him that throwing a fit gets him whatever he wants. That's not the lesson I want him to learn. I want him to know that even though he has autism, he still has choices, and Mom won't give in to every whim.
Was I being a stubborn mom? Maybe, but perhaps that's not a bad thing. We still had a great evening at home with our kids, enjoying our takeout.
While I was waiting for our food, a sweet elderly woman who had witnessed the whole scene came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder. She said something that touched my heart deeply: "You have great blessings awaiting you in heaven." I rarely get emotional when strangers speak to me, but that night, I couldn't help but tear up. I simply replied, "Thank you."
This experience reminded me of the kindness of strangers and the understanding of those who've walked in our shoes. To all you moms and dads out there who have dealt with tantrums or the unique challenges of special needs children or typical children, I want to say this: It's never easy, and even a trip to the store or a restaurant requires careful planning, a touch of stubbornness, and a whole lot of love. But take heart because blessings await you in heaven.
Keep fighting your battles. Keep trying.
And be kind.
With love and understanding,
Tamara K. Anderson
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