Lessons in Patience and Gratitude Amid Illness
May 03, 2023
My Dearest Warrior of Light,
I hope this message finds you wrapped in the warm embrace of God's love. It's been a challenging couple of weeks for me as I've battled a relentless bout of sickness. I returned from a trip, only to be greeted by the flu and a bothersome bladder infection. The fatigue that accompanied my illness was unlike anything I've experienced in a long time.
Every day, I'd muster the energy to get up briefly, eat a small meal, and then find myself utterly drained, retreating to my bed. Even the simplest tasks, like taking a shower, would leave me so weak that I needed to rest before getting dressed. The cycle was constant: get up, attend to basic needs, and return to bed.
Sleep became my refuge, and I couldn't help but feel utterly worthless in those moments of physical and emotional vulnerability.
But, dear sister, let me tell you about my knight in shining armor—my sweet husband. He returned from a business trip early to take care of our home, our son, and me. He not only maintained Nathan's routine but also prepared our meals (and occasionally ordered takeout). He even tackled the spring yard cleanup, a task we usually love to do together.
While he tirelessly looked after the family and our home, I lay there, grappling with a frustration born of my own physical limitations.
You see, my spirit was willing, but my flesh was undeniably weak.
Two rounds of antibiotics later, I'm slowly but surely regaining my strength. Typically, I bounce back from illness swiftly, but this time, the recovery has been a sluggish journey.
During these two weeks of illness, I've come to realize that there's a formidable mental battle that accompanies physical suffering. Each day brought its share of discouragement and frustration, emotions I battled with daily. I'm someone who thrives on energy and productivity, and it pained me not to be able to engage in life as I usually do.
In moments like these, I've had to draw upon the lessons learned through decades of trials. These lessons have been my lifelines during this season of sickness.
Here are some of the things that sustained me:
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Daily Connection with God: Through prayer and scripture study, I found solace. I poured my heart out to God, sharing my frustrations, but I also made a point to thank Him. Even in the dark hours of the night when I'd wake with a scratchy throat, I'd turn to Him for comfort. God is a faithful companion in the darkest of moments.
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Gratitude: Despite the frustration I felt about my physical health, I challenged myself daily to count my blessings. I expressed gratitude for the blossoming tree outside my window, my husband's unwavering support, a call from my daughter in college, the ability to see, and the fragrance of flowers on my porch. Gratitude became a lifeline to hope.
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Technology: Virtual church services allowed me to stay connected, even when I couldn't be there in person. My Kindle Unlimited subscription opened doors to reading when my eyes could stay open. Phone calls from loved ones and friends reminded me of the love that surrounded me, even in sickness.
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Nature: Observing the beauty outside my bedroom window as I lay in bed offered a healing balm. As I gradually improved, I ventured out onto my patio to witness the arrival of spring in Utah. A short drive with my husband allowed me to see the sky, feel the warmth of the sun, and revel in the sight of spring's blossoms and lush green grass. Nature has always had a profound impact on my physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.
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Good Distractions: Sometimes, distracting yourself with activities you enjoy can help during mental battles. For me, reading and watching uplifting movies have been go-to distractions. They offered a temporary escape from my frustration and sadness. While I couldn't engage in outdoor activities, I did what I could.
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Patience: Ah, this was the most challenging of all. I had to remind myself every day that my body would heal at its own pace. Rushing it would only set me back. This theme echoed in my scripture readings—some things take time, and learning to be patient with myself became a valuable lesson. With age, I find I'm growing better at it.
I've leaned on these practices to regain my health. Each day, I set and achieve small goals. As I reflect on my progress, I remember that I'm not alone. Life may knock us down, but as we lean on God and the angels He sends, we will find the strength to rise again.
In the spirit of patience and perseverance, I leave you with these verses:
- "Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer." (Romans 12:12, KJV)
- "Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him." (Psalm 37:7, KJV)
- "And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope." (Romans 5:3-4, KJV)
As I journey back to health, I encourage you to embrace your current circumstances, take small steps, and exercise patience. Lean on God and His messengers in times of adversity.
Remember, you are not alone in your struggles. There is hope on the horizon.
With enduring faith and love,
Tamara
